My mum and one of my closest friends were talking about me when i walked into the room and it always means bad news, they going to nag about something or the other. Usually it’s the “You never home” saga that they moaning about but this weekend they had set their sights on greater things. They were women on a mission.
It had been a long week with enough drama going on for me to not be in the mood. Anyway it went something like this…
R (my friend) : So life’s going to change now that D is married. She wont be able to roam the streets with you anymore.
Mum: Yeh I told her that life doesnt stay the same once they get married and before you know it, everyone will be married and you’ll still be killing yourself with people who wont care about you
Me: *Rolls eyes*
R: you know the problem with you is you are a realist , You live too much in reality and I know you think it’s good but it’s not
Mum butts in: exactly!of course its important to be realistic about things but sometimes when it comes to love you just have to let go a little bit, you dont have to be so so so…. ( I dont think she knows what she is on about)
R: yeh you abit cold when it comes to guys and love, you dont give anyone a chance and it’s because you just tooo realistic.
Me: ( I couldn’t sit there and hear the word realist or anything related one more time) I refuse to live in some deluded fantastical world, Im quite happy in reality and if he doesnt like reality he isnt the guy for me. So build the bridge and get over it. All my life, I was too nice and gave my heart too easily and now all of a sudden im cold and a realist which apparently makes me heartless also. Make up your mind ( Slightly raised voice at this point)
R: You are sooooo annoying, you never going to get married if you carry on this way.
Mum: I give up!
Me: Good, can someone make me tea.
So apparently living in reality is a bad thing. After a couple of days of thought on the topic, I guess I kinda understand what they saying, they just explaining themselves wrong.
I am living in reality and sometimes my experiences do have an effect on the way I see things. i dont hate all men because I deal with wife bashers but it does kinda make me judge the men I let into my life quite harshly. The people who I let into my life need to meet a certain measure and I refuse to compromise on that. if that means im never going to get married, then so be it. I don’t mind, but I’m never going to settle for someone because Im almost 27 and everyone around me is getting nervous Im going to be an old maid.
I wonder if it’s a generational thing or a personality thing that makes us see things so differently??