One destiny

Her Kohl lined eyes shining

Her giggles as she runs through the garden

Her downcast eyes, teeth biting into her upturned lip

3 girls, 3 marriages, 1 destiny

She smiles as her groom walks in, the love like electricity shooting across the hall. He looks in wonder at the beauty before his eyes and he pictures a life of bliss together.

When they ask her what she wants to be when she grows up, she smiles her shy smile and says an Aroos ( Bride). They wash her dirty feet and get her ready for her wedding. She screams and squeals, not wanting to let go of the sweets she stole from the laden table. She see’s the dress and is in awe. Wow!, a real Aroos dress.

She walks into the hall, arms through this strangers, her eyes downcast, hiding the pain. She almost trips over her dress and he holds her up, she lifts her eyes and blinks away the single tear, quickly

3 girls, 3 marriages, 1 destiny

Her jaw is stiff from smiling, yet she continues to smile, her stomach is a flutter of nerves, she loves having the attention on her. Her fairytale has finally come true.

She looks at everyone around her. She knows they think she looks so pretty but she can’t help wondering what is going on. Everyone is so serious, she notices her mum crying. The Imam is saying something she doesn’t understand, her dad holds her hand and makes her write her name.

Her mum tells her to smile. Everyone gathers around to take photo’s and she looks into the camera. The cameraman notices the smile never reaches her eyes.

3 girls, 3 marriages, 1 destiny

She wakes to the screaming baby, she shoves him in the back asking him to get up, he grunts and goes back to sleep. She drags herself up and goes to comfort the baby, cursing him for being so lazy. She picks up the screaming child and can’t help smiling that he looks just like his father. He needs his sleep she thinks as she looks down on her beautiful baby girl.

Today is her 13th birthday and she knows that today is the day. She will have to move in with her husband. Everyone around her is jovial and yet she feels so sad, not even scared anymore. The women come and massage her small body with rose scented oil, they brush her hair and dress her up in beautiful clothes. They bring her down to be taken away by her husband. She sits amongst family and friends, she overhears her aunt saying that she makes the best bread and that she cooks as well as anyone else, in fact even better than her mum. This made her proud. She knows that she must be able to cook well to make her husband happy.

She sits in her mothers kitchen drinking her cup of tea when her sister calls to her that her husband is on the phone. She blushes , her mother smiles, pleased that after five years her daughter still has the first flush of love for her husband.  After half an hour she gets off the phone, only because everyone around her kept nagging. Her mother wants to know what he wants. Nothing she says and realises it sounds ridiculous. He had just dropped her off ten minutes ago but how does she explain that they just can’t get enough of each other. This man who she never thought she would love.

3 girls, 3 marriages, 1 destiny

He screams at her, telling her she is just paranoid and insecure and that she has become a fat bitter woman who disgusts him. It makes her stop dead in her tracks. She can’t believe he just said that. A silence takes over and she waits for the apology but all he says is, “You wanted the truth, now you have the truth”. His words causing more damage than any of his other remarks, any of his tantrums. He walks out and she hears the door bang. The next few days go by in a blur, she is constantly ringing him to no avail. She is too afraid to call his parents home. She is too ashamed to call hers. Her lil boy runs around her, giggling, playing. Her mum rings and she immediately knows they know.He went to her parents directly asking for a divorce.  For the first time in days, she laughs, she laughs so hard she can’t stop.

She rushes around trying to get dinner ready. Her husband is bringing his friends over for dinner tonight. She is finding it harder and harder to move with her belly getting so big. She hears the key in the door just as she has finished laying out the table. She serves the food and goes to sit outside on the veranda, talking to her neighbour. Her neighbour is much older than her. She is 22 with three kids but they get along well. Having a good friend helps her get through her days. They drink tea together and talk about the impending birth of her baby. She shares her anxiety about the baby being a girl. Her friend reassures her and they look into each others faces and smiles.

She screams in pain, sweat dripping down her face and her back, she squeezes her husbands hand and pushes again as the doctor instructs her to. She begins to cry and she says she can’t anymore. He leans down and kisses her forehead and whispers into her ear. She pushes again and again and eventually her lil’ baby girl is born. She wakes abit after and sees her husband holding their baby and she is overwhelmed by so much happiness. She takes her daughter into her arms and feels the weight of responsibility and love.

3 girls, 3 marriages, 1 destiny

She hates living with her parents even though she loves them. It’s so hard to go back to being told what to do and how to do it, almost like she is a teenage child again. The stigma of being a divorcee seems to follow her everywhere she goes and the expectations drive her insane. She gets her son ready to go shopping on Sunday, they get there and he demands ice cream which he topples over her. Her head is bent over as she cleans up her blouse, she looks up and sees him holding the hands of another. Her heart beats faster and she steadies herself, holding onto the trolley begging for him not to see her. He doesn’t.  She rushes home and spends the day locked up in her room, unable to shed tears. The pain is too great. She can’t get the image out of her mind. His new wife is beautiful. She knows why he left her now, she could never compare. She can’t live like this. Her son deserves more, she knows she’ll lose him also. She holds him real tight and kisses him all over. It’s better now while he is young that when he can’t remember. She tells her mom she’ll be back soon, she takes the car and drives to the beach. She walks into the freezing ocean, and just keeps walking, her head is covered with water and forces herself to keep walking and not breathe until she doesn’t need to force herself anymore.

She is rushed to hospital, the contractions coming harder and faster. Her face contorts with pain yet she doesn’t utter a word. She can’t even think as the nurse asks her questions, she hears her husband answer. She wishes her friend was with her. Or even her mum , who she hasn’t seen in a long time. They say the baby is breached and she doesn’t understand what they mean. They tell her not to push but she needs to. She feels hands moving over her stomach, pushing, trying to turn the baby, she hears screams and shouts and the doctors sound desperate. She knows something is wrong, she tries to ask if the baby is ok? She can’t. She hears them say she needs a C section, she wants to ask something but can’t. Her friend told her it was painful. She tried to tell her about childbirth was like but she didn’t tell her that it felt as if your life was being pulled out of you. How old is she? It seems like the voice is coming from another planet. FUCK!, FOURTEEN!!! She’s not going to make it…she doesn’t.

Motherhood brings so much of joy but so much of exhaustion. She feels like she is a zombie, but then her daughter will give her a toothy grin and she forgets her exhaustion. Going to get groceries is a mission with packing the nappy bag, getting baby and herself ready and then getting there and back in record time. She straps her lil one in and pulls out of the driveway. She puts on Celine Dion and hopes baby will sleep. She is lost in her thoughts but sees the red car come at her from the side of her eye. It’s happening in a split second and yet it feels like slow motion, she tries to accelerate, she doesn’t know what to do and she hears the crunch and scrape of metal against metal. SHe knew this was it for her, her last thoughts were please God, save my baby….God listened.

3 girls, 3 marriages, 1 destiny

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3 thoughts on “One destiny

  1. Thanks 🙂 I wasn’t sure if it was going to make sense to me only. I posted without reading through or editing so I’m glad you liked it.

  2. the without editing piece turns out to be an extra ordinary piece.
    bravo!
    high entertainment value!!! and also mind boggling value if that ll make you feel better 🙂

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