In this one moment of madness, I’m willing to throw away my dreams to make yours complete.
In this one moment of insanity I will take back everything I’ve said and tell you that you are my everything
In this one moment I will turn back time to where we first moved as one
But I lie, I lie, I lie
This is a moment of my own weakness that I will regret the minute I let it consume me.
I woke up this morning smelling you on the pillow next to me. I forced my eyes to open thinking I’d find you there knowing you were not.
I walked into my closet and wondered what you would have wanted me to wear and my hands reached for the black and white top which you would have chose.
I had breakfast this morning only because you insist I eat before I leave the house. I ate cornflakes and had it with hot milk the way you do. I really don’t like cornflakes with hot milk.
I got into the car to drive to work and the whole way I pictured myself sitting next to you in your car, my seat pushed right back and reclining almost as if I was lying down, my knees curled up into me, my entire body facing you. It’s dark outside and we driving the distance between your home and mine. It’s late, im going to be in trouble. You havn’t slept in hours and I try and stay awake so that you can stay awake and we can both get there safely. Your hand reaches out for mine and we stay connected the whole way home.
I got to work and re -read your emails and it all came tumbling back. All of it. Every moment we spent as one came back and…
In that moment I was ready to give it all up and come to you, but I couldn’t.
I need to fulfill this dream
I need to have this career
I need to live here
I need to be with my family
I can’t turn back time so that we are one again,
Our time is now passed.