he was NOT a GREAT FATHER

My fingers trembled that first night as I pulled my wedding gown over my head.

His hands calmed my nervous fluttering while we waited for two lines to appear, hoping we would be parents.

My aching feet and big belly made me feel like the ugliest person on earth.

His eyes were the ony mirrors that reflected a young beautiful woman in the prime of her life.

My life was full of joy but I wanted a sibling for my daughter.

He smiled at me and said lets start trying now.

He lost his job

I smiled and told him it would be OK.

He kept getting rejected day after day.

I told him we’d talk to my father, surely he’d help us out.

That was the day it all changed….

 

 

He struck my face.

I understood that he had his pride.

He struck my head with his fist.

I knew that he was frustrated.

He kicked me in my stomach.

I knew he felt like he couldn’t provide for us.

He burnt me with his cigarettes.

I wished they’d just employ him.

He threw me to the ground in front of the kids.

I wish things would go back to the way it was.

He twisted and pulled at my nipples and slapped me across the face.

Oh God, Help Me.

He forced himself on me.

He just needs comfort.

 

 

I love you.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

It’s ok. I take him in my arms. It’s going to be OK.

It’s going to be OK.

…Going to be….. OK

Punching

Kicking

Bashing head against wall

Pulling at hair

Im so so tired.

I wish they’d give him a job

He is a good man I tell them, He is a great father. He loves us all so dearly.

A GREAT FATHER, the girls love their dad. He is great. Wonderful dad. So much time with the kids. Loves them. Great Father.

Then he struck her across her face. I saw her fall to the floor, hand against cheek and the shriek was mine.

I walked out that day.

 

he was not a GREAT father.

he didn’t care.

he didn’t love us

he was NOT a GREAT FATHER.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “he was NOT a GREAT FATHER

  1. They realities of people’s lives.

    I think its really easy to call her stupid without feeling or understanding the realities of her life.

    I think until you experience what she did, it’s really hard to understand her.

    There are thousands of woman like her who never find the courage to leave. We need to support and celebrate the women who do find that courage.

  2. Sid, i keep coming up with it in my mind and cant put it into words so i’ll let you know when I figure it all out 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s