There are times in life where you sit back and look at your life and you need to take stock of who you are, where you are and where you going. With my South African trip getting closer I can’t help thinking about these things.
Going back to South Africa brings with it so many memories and so many things I’ve tried to forget. I can’t help being apprehensive about meeting friends that I havn’t seen in ten years, that I knew a lifetime ago. I know how much I’ve changed and I know that they have too. We were best friends back then but I feel as if I have nothing in common with some of these friends. I love them and I would love to see them, I guess I’m just apprehensive about how I’m going to reconnect with them.
I was thinking of this the other day and it got me thinking about my life here. What makes us choose to have some people in our life and not others?
I have always thought that I am a very good judge of character but I don’t alays make good choices when it comes to friends or just people who I welcome into my life. There are alot of people in my life that I love dearly, I see the greater good in them and yet as people I don’t like them. I’m finding that hard to reconcile in my mind. Does the good outweigh the bad? Is this how we should look at friendship?
I think I’m very straight forward but I’ve realised I’m not. There are things I say in my head but don’t say out loud because I can’t really be bothered to go through the whole process of having to explain what I said. I take the easy way out.
That’s not really the person I think I am and I need to change that. I think I’m afraid that if I do that I’ll have to face that there are people in my life that I really don’t like alot of their habits. People who in general I don’t think are nice people.
Odd post, weird thoughts running through my head.