The courage of compromise

I often wonder why women stay.

Stay in abusive relationships, stay for the kids, stay because of the stigma, stay because it’s what people expect from them.

Men, they stay too.

I never did understand why anyone would stay when staying means compromising on your happiness, on what you want from your life. Staying while wanting desperately to escape. Feeling hopeless and helpless yet still staying.

I think, I kind of get it now.

Staying is so much easier.

The familiarity of knowing what things are and what to expect. The convenience of ignoring the taste of failure. The guilt of wanting more than just this, for being ungrateful, the pressure of the people all around you. It makes it so much easier.

I see now how with age, comes compromise. Slowly but surely as time etches your skin with wrinkles, compromise after compromise engraves  itself into your soul so that you believe it’s what you’ve always wanted.

I don’t want to be that person that compromises because its what’s expected. I want to be able to make my own choices without influence. I want to believe I own that freedom to choose.

I’m learning to accept that I don’t.

I no longer judge them for their choice… compromise takes courage.

The courage to give up something you wanted, courage to accept things for what they are and be satisfied with that.

To make that compromise, to live with it and eventually to find happiness in it.

It takes courage.

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5 thoughts on “The courage of compromise

  1. compromising.. a good thing, a bad thing?
    it’s not easy to decide. I guess they both take courage.
    and neither is good alone. both would make you miss out on things; compromising too much, and also not having the ability to do it.
    thank you for the post – it made me think.

  2. “The familiarity of knowing what things are and what to expect. The convenience of ignoring the taste of failure. The guilt of wanting more than just this, for being ungrateful, the pressure of the people all around you. It makes it so much easier.”
    It couldn’t be described any better, loved the paragraph above.. beautifully put into words.
    I believe its the comfort that we get used to even in pain, the courage that is required to come out, is somewhere lost and dissolved with the pain.

  3. there is a fine line between ‘compromising’ and ‘giving in’ – compromise makes a relationship workable – while giving in make you lose your identity!

  4. Marire, star gazer- Welcome 🙂

    Divaa Divine- I never thought of it like that and you are so right. Compromise does make it workable. Thank you 🙂

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