When you sat down next to me, I was surprised by you, you were nothing that I expected but there was this frisson in this new found surprise.
I looked at you and somehow knew that you felt it too. Amongst the crowd, we kept finding each other, words unnecessary. It was enough just to be close by.
It was only after that I realised that I looked my worst, unwashed travel weary face, disheveled clothes from a 24 hour journey, all forgotten when you didn’t notice any of it.
I noticed you change the plans and knew you changed them for me and it confirmed what I felt. When you sat down next to me at dinner, my heart stopped for this moment and you smiled, almost as if you knew. Everyone and everything seized to exist.
All the exhaustion I felt disappeared as we talked till the wee hours of the morning. We knew we were avoiding the inevitable. I was pushing the thought aside, wanting to be denial, silently begging to never have to hear the truth.
You belong to someone else. I will never be the woman who ignores that and you will never be the man who betrays. So we, we will continue to pretend.
We are friends
We are colleagues
We share no connection